Saturday, August 13, 2011

Why Write?

For me, writing is exploration; and most of the time, I'm surprised where the journey takes me. Jack Dann
                   
Just a couple of months ago, I was looking through old journals that I had from awhile back. As I toured through my past thoughts, poems, raps and simple journal entry's, for those very moments, I was taken back to a place of disdain. It was a bittersweet experience. I offered to share some of my poems and raps with my husband who ( God bless his heart) was willing to listen. I realized how sad I was, so many years, I put on a front like everything was okay when, in all actuality, I was torn inside. living with a depressive mindset is no fun, NO FUN AT ALL! 

I was raised by my father, whom i love dearly, but he has always been pessimistic about almost everything. We struggled financially, but always had what we needed (food, shelter, clothing.) I think that growing up in a pessimistic home caused me to be a pessimist. Being pessimistic affects my relationship with God, my husband and friends. It is impossible to have joy when one meditates on the bad and negative things. I was so conformed to focusing on the negative, that I actually found comfort in my self-pity. 

Things have changed, and I realized that when I was skimming through my journals from years ago. Things are still changing, all for the better. I now know that when I worry, stress, complain, and have self-pitty for whatever reasons, I am not obeying the Word of God. I am a new person, I have been delivered from the dominion of darkness (Colossians 1:13) and I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind (Romans 12:2.)  So that is exactly what i'll do, rather than concentrating on what will bring me down, I will renew my mind daily and focus on the good in myself, my husband and others. 


In conclusion, I write because when I write ( in this case, type) I realize things I maybe didn't realize before. I write because when I re-read these words I am susceptible to change. 


and I leave you with these verses!

"Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-- meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

"For weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5








Friday, August 12, 2011

A Wife, A Gift!


 "Regardless of what kind of person you have been in the past, with instructions from God's word, you can become a heavenly- gift bride."
                                                                  Debi Pearl


      Since the beginning of creation, God had a purpose for women. An evident plan for our creation. A plan that is opposed by society, our sinful nature and our unforgotten past. 

     "And the Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Genesis 2:18

    A help meet. Not a selfish-bitter-nagging-complaining-domineering-criticizer. Dictionary.com defines helper as " A person or thing that helps or gives assistance, support, etc." God created women to be of assistance, service and support to our husband's. Why is it that we  tend to do the complete opposite? instead, " Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Genesis 3:16. When we are not satisfied in God, our desire will not be for His will, instead we will want to dictate, control and manipulate our husband's, which is the opposite of a help meet.

    It wasn't until about four months before I married my amazing husband that I started to learn what it meant to be a help meet. It was a foreign language to me. Quinell (my husband) and I completed a premarital class at North Coast Calvary Chapel prior to our marriage. During the class we were assigned a mentor couple who taught, challenged and helped prepare us for marriage.The Lord sent us the perfect couple. A beautiful godly couple who lived according to His Word. It was then that I began to learn what God wanted for my marriage, and what I am called to do as a wife. 

    I want to be a heavenly-gift bride! Despite my past of impurity and rebellion, I so desperately desire to be everything my husband wants and needs.  I want to encourage him, serve him, love him, follow him, respect him, and let him lead me. I never wanted this before I was married, all I thought about was myself and what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I am not perfect and being a help meet is something I am constantly working out. I would be lying if I said I don't ever let my selfishness get the best of me, because at times, I do. I'd be deceiving you if I said, I've got being a wife down to a T, because I don't. BUT the  beauty of it all is that the Holy Spirit is molding my heart and desires to line-up with His will for my life, not mine! and to that I say HALLELUJAH! 

    It amazes me that when I respect my husband I respect God, when I submit to my husband I am submitting to God, when I reverence my husband, I am reverencing God, because this is what he calls wives to do! and to do it joyfully. I said it once and I will say it again, and i'm sure my husband will vouch for me (LOL); Daily, I make mistakes, but becoming a help meet is something that takes prayer, practice and faith.

"Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you.." Colossians 1:10-12


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Aspire to Inspire.

I aspire to inspire.

       I, like many, have had my share of good and bad experiences. I aim to use my past mistakes and hurts to inspire others who may have experienced similar situations.

     I have been a Christian for about three years, and when the Lord, by His grace, saved me, I began to change, learn, and experience a fulfilled life ( the Bible calls this "sanctification" which means: being made holy.) Now, don't get me wrong this three years has not been easy, as a matter of fact, it has been the most difficult and mind boggling three years of my entire life. I say this because I am constantly realizing how broken I really am. When i met Jesus, and started to get to know Him, His Word, His Standards, His mind, and His desire for my life, that was when i started seeing the sin that had me in bondage.

     I am writing this so that you (the reader) can get to know me a little bit, how i write, and what I'm like. this is my first post, but believe me, it will not be my last. My goal is to share the truth ( and by truth I do mean Jesus.) 

     stay tuned, and see what else I have to say :]