Why Write?

For me, writing is exploration; and most of the time, I'm surprised where the journey takes me. Jack Dann

                   

Just a couple of months ago, I was looking through old journals that I had from awhile back. As I toured through my past thoughts, poems, raps and simple journal entry's, for those very moments, I was taken back to a place of disdain. It was a bittersweet experience. I offered to share some of my poems and raps with my husband who ( God bless his heart) was willing to listen. I realized how sad I was, so many years, I put on a front like everything was okay when, in all actuality, I was torn inside. living with a depressive mindset is no fun, NO FUN AT ALL! 

I was raised by my father, whom i love dearly, but he has always been pessimistic about almost everything. We struggled financially, but always had what we needed (food, shelter, clothing.) I think that growing up in a pessimistic home caused me to be a pessimist. Being pessimistic affects my relationship with God, my husband and friends. It is impossible to have joy when one meditates on the bad and negative things. I was so conformed to focusing on the negative, that I actually found comfort in my self-pity. 

Things have changed, and I realized that when I was skimming through my journals from years ago. Things are still changing, all for the better. I now know that when I worry, stress, complain, and have self-pitty for whatever reasons, I am not obeying the Word of God. I am a new person, I have been delivered from the dominion of darkness (Colossians 1:13) and I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind (Romans 12:2.)  So that is exactly what i'll do, rather than concentrating on what will bring me down, I will renew my mind daily and focus on the good in myself, my husband and others. 


In conclusion, I write because when I write ( in this case, type) I realize things I maybe didn't realize before. I write because when I re-read these words I am susceptible to change. 

and I leave you with these verses!

"Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-- meditate on these things." Philippians 4:8

"For weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:4-5